Well, my peaceful vision of a New Years in the calm of the desert morphed into the grandest party in the hills of Beverly last night - and I'm not complaining.
Jamie King, choreographer to all the big bitches, transformed his Coldwater bachelor villa into a modern nightclub and invited 275 of his closest friends. Actually, there were only about twelve or so of his truly closest friends invited. They had a private dinner in the tented backyard/disco while the rest of us hangers-on packed into the staged house with no music wondering just what was going on. At just about the time that everyone was restless and asking when things would really get going, the screens blocking our view of the back came down in a sweep as the host and his closest appeared and the music and lights kicked in. Fabulous, yes. A little over the top for a private party with your friends, also yes. But we're dealing with Madonna's choreographer here. It is to be expected and enjoyed.
In the back, my agent friend who had invited me to come with her and her girlfriend took over a booth near one of the bars and overlooking the dance floor. From there, adjacent to the
Dsqaured2 twins' booth, I had the best people-watching perch as partiers in sequins and furs - and not just the women - came to introduce themselves and dance around us.
I gave myself over to having the exact opposite New Years I had pictured and let my eyes drink in the scene, loving it. It was Fellini-esque for sure though definitely more gay and like one of those fake Hollywood parties you see in a movie about Hollywood that don't seem to really exist outside of cinema.
At just before midnight when I made my way to the bathroom, a flat-ironed cherub who looked to be about seventeen scooted in along with me to tell me he loved my
bow tie before kissing me hard and then asking if I had any coke. I did not.
He followed me back over to our table to toast the New Year with another kiss but before we were allowed, Jamie stopped everything to introduce his spiritual advisor that he had flown in from London. He asked us all to turn to the person next to us and make a wish for their new year. I wished for the cherub that at some point he wakes up next to someone who doesn't scare the shit out of him in the morning.
And I wish the same for all of you.
Happy New Year!